Purest of Pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak
couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender
just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said
I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else
is standing there beside you
but there's something baby
that you need to know
that deep inside me
I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you
it's all that I'm asking
Baby, give me back my fantasy
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
Living without you
my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt
when you walked away
but to tell you the truth
I can't find my way
and deep inside me
I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you
it's all that I'm asking
Goodbye My Lover
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Saturday, August 30, 2003
Teacher's Day Celebrations - 29 August 2003
NYGH's celebration was fun - with all the running around to give gifts and cards, and daddy was funny when he saw our gift..somehow he said he liked it. Is it true??
Got something for almost all our subject teachers, and the funny thing was we decided to give Mrs Chitra as well, she's nice isn't she? She brought her son along and I thought she seemed extremely nice when I saw her feeding the fish at the ecopond. My thoughts for so many people has changed...and we gave to Mrs Chan too, she brought her daughter around, but she didn't come to our class, she doesn't have a form class now! Haiz!
The concert was cool - the items put up were entertaining, really! And the teacher's iitem, I think Chen laushi did great in her dance though i didn't like the red dress. And the other teacher's item was cool, apart from all the ms teo, ms loo, ms ong, ms chang, mrs chitra, mrs toh etcetc, Mr Lim came out to do this..."bimbo-like" dance and Mr Tang came to do this backstree HipHop, it was so so entertaining ok!
At the end of it I made up my mind and left something for her too...a little gift and a card which...somehow I wrote something that I doubt even ppl who knew her better wouldn't have written? Yeah...
NYPS's campus is nice, the curved quadrangle is beautiful - very grand, but the whole place was so warm cuz the walls were so crammed together and it was facing the sun!
Went to Coro to get a bouquet of flowers for Ms Tan - i still think she rox! => Stepped into sch and saw Mr Lee - he hasn't changed after so many years, even 10yrs ago when I first knew him! Maybe he won't change even 10 years later! Haha, oh i forgot to send my regards to him..haiz! =( Then Mrs Tang - she looks quite different cuz she somehow changed her hairstyle too. Saw Uncle Pang aka Mr Pang. He's still the same - actually he's quite nice - shouldn't have been tt mean to him, considering the fact tt he always gave in to us! haha...see i'm starting to miss those days...
Had a HARD TIME looking for Ms Tan C.L. ok? I was practically wailing for her name as we strolled along the corridors - DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS HER??? So we went from level to level and still couldn't see her. FINALLY! 5th level at 6D classroom. She was there - in black - and i INSIST she DID change her hairstyle! She combed it differently, dyed it a redder brown...and she's still as pretty I would say (I know I sound lesbianic but she's really that nice ok!) and so we shook hands with her and we gave her the flowers and card. I could just stand there and not move, really. She seems more...open now, cuz her students ran outta class and were saying what "ya out of class can give already..." and a boy said "I'm here to propse..." haha, but she chased them back in...and when she turned to us, she was all red. She's really so..so...i dunno...see me smile when I talk/think of her even. She's THAT nice! I wouldn't have left if she didn't have lessons. I would have stayed there and sat there...but that makes me psychotic. She said something weird: "Thanks for remembering me..." and I just couldn't stand it, something from the bottom of my heart came out: "How could...We forget you?" At least I couldn't. And my friends were telling her how I was groaning for her since I came into NYPS. And she was like "Oh..it's ok" or something...i feel so stupid...
Saw liang laushi, actuallyhad to teach her my name, and then went down and saw Mrs Sng, and then we still didn't see linlaushi. So sad, heard that she aged alot, and to think I used to..nevermind, I'm just pitying her...no, i just..can't think. Nvm.
Went to hall and saw huang laushi, still so patient, and she somehow remembers my name SO clearly - cuz i've been a rascal yea? She only taught us for tt little while? Wonder if she still remember lawrence - he look like a giraffe now! hehe, no offense really, he's so tall now. Anway, yea, she's so patient she's currently teaching p3, less troubles and irritants i think.
Mr Ting! Haha...he was saying what "The food was so enticing that I didn't notice my fellow ex-pupils." He recognises me by face though he didn't teach me - he knows he didn't teach me but saw me around often in the past. Haha, cuz I always go HOD room to disturb what! So stupid now the system is like - can't enter the staffroom too. Idiot! Mr Ting ah..joker la, with his daughter, his daughter grew up alot. Felicia or something...forgot...
Then saw Mr Chiew - still the same, a very nice person...Then saw Ms Tan again, walking into the hall for the Teacher's Lunch. The Hall was AIR-CONDITIONED CAN! So many facilities, they have a full track - NYGH don't ok! It's beautiful, just that I dunno why their sheltered carpark is RIGHT beside the canteen? Siao! Stinx lor!
The aquarium beside the canteen must be from Mr Ting...haha...OH I FORGOT TO ASK HIM STH! SHOOTZ!
Anway, didn't get to see who we usually did - as in...yea! Mr Ng - where was he ah? Aiya, anyway I wrote an SMS to him to wish him happy tchr's day...and he replied so late lor! haha...he's so nice can?! Abit like Metal...their replies..hehe
Izit just the way their phone works or do all teachers write with that kinda short forms? Because they need a break off all that prim and proper life? (That's not the case for my dear ms tan...)
It is guilt that rules me - even until now...unless you can clear the mistake...is there a mistake in the first place?
-Broken dreams-
