Purest of Pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak
couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender
just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said
I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else
is standing there beside you
but there's something baby
that you need to know
that deep inside me
I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you
it's all that I'm asking
Baby, give me back my fantasy
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
Living without you
my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt
when you walked away
but to tell you the truth
I can't find my way
and deep inside me
I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you
it's all that I'm asking
Goodbye My Lover
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Friday over, last day of school gone.
Tuesday down, no more fund-raising.
Let me tell you what hurts.
Ms Tan GH is leaving, Mrs Lim CY is leaving, FT leaving...
Friday was the last time Mrs Koh would step out of this class that she has taught for 2 years, it's the last time this class that has been together for 2 years would, together, see her turn her back and exit our class...
2/1 splitting...
31st october, the last day of school, last day 2/1 would be together in a classroom.
Will we still meet again, would we still think the same way that we do now, would we still be able to enjoy the nights together counting stars and looking out at the "us" in the moon? Would we still embrace if we met along the corridors? If i wailed out in pain, would you still be there for me? Would there still be anyone who would understand how we feel deep inside? No...
4th november, last time we ever do fund-raising activities together, for choralnight.
Liane, yx, sh and i were lying in the quadrangle when it was over. Would we ever have the chance to do that ever again? No...there would no longer be this moon in the sky after 2 years, cuz the days pass like they can't wait for you...and this moon, will only be in our memories...cuz we'll no longer spend our nights like this...we may be looking at the sky, but no longer at the same time, on the same night, in the same place, at the same spot...
I'll miss the class, they appear in my dreams...and i know that's not enough, cuz in a dream i can't tell you how much i'd missed you, how much fun we've had in the days that we'd suffered scoldings, and the days we've smiled and laughed til we cried cuz we did something really great. And thursday, a day i await yet fear...the day we'll perform, yet the last day we'll ever perform together as 2/1...it's the day i'll go mad...i'll go crazy.
Next year, everything will be different. i no longer see mrs koh in my eng/lit class...
No more Shum and KC talking about tennis, no more dor and stella playing bball with me, no more shisi and hooi acting funny, no more nette, siqi, ht and steff being so straight forward...no more tammy, hanyun, cheryl, liang yan and yihang being so soft-spoken each day yet play cards so well, no more xizhi being so funny with her "shoebag hit head" thingy, no more limeng and yuanyi and yeechien and xiangjun to answer the questions lousy us don't understand during chinese, no more meisan and helen with their lame tricks...no more yeenseen shooting questions during history, no more hard-working ying shean and yolanda sitting quietly, no more wy quin's wailing, no more eK's funny stories and blur-ness, no more charmaine to answer all eng questns, no more sw being so nicely sensitive and hearty, no more liane to tell me about the stars and moon, no more shuang smsing with me, no more ys, yt, yx, zhang to sing with me...
-Broken dreams-
