Purest of Pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak
couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender
just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said
I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else
is standing there beside you
but there's something baby
that you need to know
that deep inside me
I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you
it's all that I'm asking
Baby, give me back my fantasy
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
Living without you
my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt
when you walked away
but to tell you the truth
I can't find my way
and deep inside me
I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you
it's all that I'm asking
Goodbye My Lover
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Note:
1. All those pretty ladies of 4/10 who stumble upon this depressing site, pls remember to check your ivle.
2. All cool funky 2/1ers who still bother to come here, pls tell me some way tt i can contact u guys. Eg. get online more so i can ask u stuff there, sms me, call me, look for me..whatever, pls. thanks.
3. All my wives, girlfriends, dates, erm..ah bek's erm..ya..and those other ppl who snapped pictures, care to tell me where the pictures went? I don't want your parents hunting me down k..? I'll like to take a look at them pls..
Here goes another section dedicated to camp..haha..Alas..a less depressing post! =)
Day1:
I guess this camp wasn't too bad. We did well for the soccer, volleyball and Tarzan-Jane game. Soccer one was pretty hard to play with the little balloon-like ball that went to the left when you kicked straight. idiotic. Volleyball - credits esp to Jac and Yini. Good pair, with lanky Jac grasping every shot! Tarzan-Jane game..I ain't too sure but I heard it was always lucky TC right? Go TC..star of the day! TC's specs broke, I shan't elaborate on who/how, but she's a brave girl. I guess she was just upset that it was her first day there & she didn't have her specs. But that problem was sorta settled when the specs sorta got taped back. My 'jiu4 ai4' so amazing, try to use superglue..ermm..c'mon, normal glue+pressure DOES NOT stick GLASS together, ok? Haha, but nvm. It's the heart to try that counts I guess. The ribena pastilles obviously had some problems..after eating it everyone went mad. Bek says it's something in the juice. I can't be sure, cuz I think we all went a little crazy during the dance after Jac got us on stage..That was pure COOL. I think Indian culture is cool. SAY SHAAVA! The teachers (Kevin Tan and Ms Tan Siu Li) were on stage doing some funny stuff like in the Indian movies. Pretty cool..Ek and I were obsessed in the Jap and Indian moves..haha, making it so lame? & Yuxing, remember: the kids in Africa may not have food to eat! So - every1 must finish ur food k?
Apart from the planned events, there were some other stuff that added color. After everything it was a chips session in my room. Best was I was saying dumb things and didn't know the door was open?! (GUESS WHAT??)..Haha..sure sure, now all of you think I really like her a lot izit? *faints* Ok but I believe you guys appreciate her too right? In a sense..minus all the monday 1.00pm - 2.30pm..she's quite nice eh? C'mon, stop framing me..you know, maybe she heard..haha. Yaya..so don't disturb her in the middle of the night can?? Haha, Liting said something so lame Yuxing fell backwards laughing & I fell forward on the bed..lemme recall: "--- very chio.." LOL! Haha..Ok crap. Amazing thing was Yuxing didn't know her alarm rang. Cute gal. Oh the blankets were SO warm, like my feet DIDN'T freeze cuz the blankets had beautiful patterns of HOLES in them. WOW. A blanket that doesn't keep you warm isn't much of a blanket, izit? Change it!! =P
Day2:
games weren't too bad. We found ALL ribbons pretty quickly. see the importance of strategy and cooperation now? Yay! The catch tennis ball with cone thing was really good. I think the timing was really short..hoops-jumping was good too. Thanks xinling. but booboo, the gymball game gave her an injury. get well soon and rest more yea? Don't cry..Jac and ZT weren't too well under the heat. Drink lotsa water and get in the shade! After that I got a little dazed..cuz of some unexpected reasons. Lol..trapped in imaginations..but nice anyway. Can't help it if it only needs to appear to make me laugh/smile. Ok nvm..
things after that were pretty lame..just that I don't like some ppl. I don't exactly appreciate the rudeness that came directly on the sheets. It was 'TOTALLY' horrible. As much as I don't like that woman I have no intentions to insult her whole team. I don't like her cuz I'm bias/mean..whatever it is. But I don't hate her enough to tell her off in the face - I think they deserved that teeny bit of respect - at least for their efforts..so whoever brought up the insults there, just shut that hole in your face and get outta the way alright? Grrr..
Night time was pretty cool. When we just got ready to leave the chalet, we had some photo-taking..(AIYA! I forgot to take with my beloved..TSK! lol..) I forgot who I took with first, but I remember taking with Bek. Yuanyuan and Yini. I remember Tricia. Zhiting. Xinling. Karin & Jac! Yuxing. Amelia. YingXu. Xiaole. Tong2. ain't gonna name all. But it was in..in..yingxu's room that we were snapping pics right? dunno when Bek got her 'Bar-girl' identity - But I remember I was the "first". Lol- gave her money right..ok nvm. Don't wanna elaborate here. I remember Youxin looking v pretty (they say she looks like her mom?) & TC like a sweet l'll girl. EK claimed she muz learn how to walk in heels. Ok nvm.
Lemme digress a little. So I saw my 'jiu4 ai4' & obviously went to take pics? Tell you the best thing was she decided to play along and held my..right arm and leaned on my shoulder! (aww..meltssss halfway..) and asked if she should act like xiao2 niao3 yi1 ren2..being ME, I did some stuff that I shouldn't really have..(those who really know me will know..sry Wy..haha!) But she didn't mind huh? But I wasn't that bad, I gave way to Wy who claims her as the 'xin1 huan1'..But before she walked off I told her she looks very pretty & she held my..right arm again (melts again..haha..), saying "I look pretty everyday ok.." & more which I won't disclose. But she was really sweet. Haha..ok sorry. I didn't say anything. Muahaha! Madness. Anyway - xinling didn't feel too well so she had to rest. Hmm..too bad she didn't join us in the dancing after that. Don't apologize le k? I guess she was a little better with the coat & shawls piled on her? the HOT water ZT brought out, Jac, Trish & I saying lame stuff outside..The dancing was darn funky. I didn't know some ppl in our school could be so hip. Haha..yingxu know what ai mean. Guess EK had a good time learning how to dance in heels..but it was so fun we didn't really wanna leave. We were just drowned in the coolest music fit for dancin'..Sighh..nvm. Shan't think so much. I guess it's pretty unforgettable.
=) Hey 2/1'03 cheered DARN LOUD, so some1 said. Do I miss our cheers or what?! I don't know why but I can't help agreeing. 2/1'03 is forever 2/1'03. Stay funky, guys! Muaha! CHALLENGE: Find me someone who can beat us in cheerin and cooperation! Woohoo! oh..took pics with Cook too! Funny, do I miss WeiTing or what? she's so lame!! Haha..where's my free CD, HUH?!! Lol..I MISS OBS! =) Took with..who else was there? Some others, eg. Eunice Tok, WeiTeng..who else ahh..cca bunch I think..can't remember le..bad memory..
So back at the chalet: I can NEVER forget my 3599..haha, can't you see I LOVE her so much *chokes coughs..* Bek sorry le..hahaha..didn't mean to be like this, but who tell her to be SO nice la..erpX! Then there were some problems - maybe it's true. Nothing can be perfect, or we'll never treasure what is really good! Ok, so my 3599 is right..it's not important what mistakes are made. It's important what lessons we've learnt! YES! I agree! YAY! Thank you for trusting us! We love you..ok la, don't generalize - me only, ok? (e more I say e worse it gets..starting to think I'm mad..nvm when lessons start I will go back to norm. I will yuckyuckyuck all day again..) Haha..for now just let us all play along, I REALLY like 3599 ok? Haha..YES! ; )
Day3:
Ok, end. Nothing to say. It was in all a wonderful experience. No regrets. I think the class is better like this. Anyway we were just snapping photos of everything we could think of. It's so cool, just that now the 3599 thing is getting all over the class & someone decided that the picture I took with Bek looked like a wedding photo..well ok. So go develop bahh..haha. Wherever you wanna put it. Bek said she wanna put it at her bed right? Haha..lame! Can put in class though..but it'll be v weird. Bahh..time to rest! Bye for now.
To all out there - camps may end time after time. But a true friendship should never end there..
-Broken dreams-
